My tribe

I no doubt first met others in my tribe when Little Guy was 4, 5, and 6 months old.  But life in general was a blur, and I wasn't looking for solidarity when I saw them.  I didn't want to be a member of this tribe. 

They are there ~ we are there ~ every time we take our little ones to the pediatric hearing clinic.  Now that I have more margin (in general, but also in terms of living with hearing aids ~ HAs), I see my peers ~ the other moms and dads of HA patients.

The moms of older patients usually make a point to encourage the younger kiddos and tell us moms of younger ones how old their child was when first fitted.  Now I'm a mom of an older one.

I saw the parents of a wee little one the other day.  I could see my 2-years-prior self in their body language.  Absorbed in their beautiful baby, trying not to stare at Little Guy's HAs, trying to pretend they weren't at the hearing clinic or at least trying to pretend that it would just be a one-time visit to ensure the baby hears just fine, their shock at the sheer number of kiddos that live in our general area and have HAs or cochlears or baha systems.  (It's hard to ignore that fact when the walls are covered with blown up photos of beautiful vibrant children, and when children are streaming in & out at the beginning and end of the school day to the school that meets on the 2nd floor.)

Although the wee little one's parents were not receptive, a 4 year old and his dad were comfortable with our tribe.  While Dad checked out and made the next appointment, his son warmed up to LG (and to me), told us his full name, etc.  I responded with LG's full name, and remarked that they both have a name that starts with B.

"B-b-b-book, B-b-b-backpack," I began, and we were off and running!  Butterfly, bus, balloon, and on and on, until a lull, when he suggested, "Let's think of words that start with p!'  And so we continued until his dad was finished at the reception desk. 

I said, "Good-bye!" to my new little 4-year-old friend with a smile, and his dad said, "Good-bye!" to Little Guy by name.  We had never met, but we knew we had found our tribe.  The wee little one's parents looked on, amazed.  I know they don't want to be in our tribe, but if they are, I can assure them, it's a wonderful tribe!

Orientation

Orientation ... to reduce the feeling of being disoriented, when in a new place

Orientation ... a who's who, where's what, and what's where

Back in the day, I helped with various parts of providing orientation for untold numbers of expat (mostly American) visitors to our mission team in Japan.  But when I married Jim and moved here, no one gave me orientation.  That's actually a GOOD thing, because it means that I wasn't one in a string of wives who needed it. :)

Instead of receiving a Team Phone List, the only list I was given was the wedding invitation mailing list, handwritten by my future mother-in-law.  So, the first few weeks of married life, I penned important phone numbers on an index card inside a kitchen cupboard.  I included the bank and post office and dentist and their various hours & days of operation, and still refer to it sometimes.

As I acclimated myself those first few months, I relied heavily on printed copies of Google map directions and a Garmin GPS to get places.  I always made it there and back, but not always without tears.  It's still hard to believe that I navigated in Japan for twice as many years as I've navigated here (albeit Japan was mostly by train.)

But there was still one big piece of Farm Wife Orientation that was missing.  Today's nap time project gave me what I've been wishing for for more than 6 years!  Not the who's who or the where's what, but the what's where!  Jim and his dad and brother are forever talking about which farm they're working on, referring to them in terms such as Smiths, Joneses and Williams (except they're mostly German names, due to the German settlers here).

Each farm name signifies a piece of land, anywhere from 40 to 240 acres.  Each farm is referred to by the last name of the people who owned it just prior to their owning it.  (Except the actual barnyard and surrounding land, which is the "home farm," I think?)

So, there are 8 "farms," or what I would call "fields," scattered across 5 miles, and then three more that are approximately 5, 10, and 15 miles away in different directions.  (And this is not abnormal for farmers here.)

And when Jim says, "We're planting Joneses today," I am as clueless as you are! :)  But no more!

Today I found soil test results that were titled with the name of each farm and had a map showing names of the roads bordering the fields.  I matched those with the township maps in the plat book*, made copies and made my farm orientation map booklet!!!!

If you're still reading, this is very exciting news!  Information is freeing. :)



* Plat books are atlases that show land ownership for rural areas. They generally feature one township (36 square miles) per page and focus on rural property ownership. Sections, roads, railroads, urban extent, township maps, county maps, and an index to property owners are usually included.

Overheard at my house

Me:  "We're going to go to the post office in a few minutes. Would you like to go to the park after that?"
Little Guy:  "I would like to obey you."

:)

I think he meant he'd like to obey me so that he would not lose the privilege of going to the park.  He reported several times after we went to the park: "I like to obey you!"

___________

At the park, calling to a squirrel running up a tree, "Come down!  Come down!  You may come down!"

___________

In the most excited (and possibly surprised) tone:  "I ate all my lunch!!!!" 

___________

"I will put my dirty clothes on."  Said, as he prepares to take care of his imaginary pigs that live in pig pens all over our house.  "I must take my clean clothes off." 

___________

"Mommy!"  {pause}  "MOMMY!"  {pause}  "Mommy B-----!" {pause}  "MOMMY B-----!"  :)

___________

After ringing Grandma's doorbell twice and then peering in the garage and seeing that their car was gone: "But I wanted Grandma to be home!" {Then commenced the tantrum in Grandma's driveway...  The consolation prize was going to the library. :) }

___________

1000 Gifts, Vol. 5, #25

241.  periwinkle, gray, sky blue and white sky that looks like a puffy patchwork quilt

242.  pears from my in-laws' tree

243.  pop-in visits to see Grandma

244.  plaid tablecloths for fall - LOVE!

245.  our new pumpkin forged out of six horseshoes (and a half for the stem), made by boys in a residential therapeutic program our church supports

246.  a toddler's imagination

247.  the 17-hour days of harvest are soon coming to an end.  Hallelujah!!!!

248.  safety, sufficient adrenaline, working parts, and a good yield during harvest!

249.  church library

250.  random people who have offered to let me know when their persimmons fall ~ anticipation

God's "No" is a Better "Yes"

In the course of life, we all face disappointments.  Some that seem inconsequential to outsiders.  Others that grab the attention of the world and are declared to be a crisis.

Our disappointments can be as minor as every grocery store I've been to in the past month being out of my brand of decaf tea bags.  Or they can be as life-shattering as an entire missionary family dying in a car accident.

But most of our disappointments fall somewhere in the middle.

And, most of us probably have unresolved feelings about disappointments that happened in the past.

Jim has a cousin who has quoted her former pastor as saying, "God's 'no' is always a better 'yes.'"  I know that in the Kingdom economy, nothing is wasted, and God redeems everything.  My head believes that, but my heart doesn't always resonate with it.  That's why I was thankful this week to read one person's story of how God graciously revealed to her why His 'no' is a better 'yes.'

Click here to read the encouraging and praise-worthy account:  "That moment when you realize your plan is not better than God's."

Eclectic

On each CD we listen to, Little Guy has his favorite song.  He is learning patience by waiting for that song to come around again. :)

On one CD, it's "Clap your hands, all you people."

On another, it's "Five little skunks."

On another, it's "Holy, holy, holy."

And on another, it's "The Doxology."

You should see his face light up when one of his favorites comes on!  His eyes sparkle with glee whether it is "Holy, holy, holy," or "Five little skunks."  Yikes!

Iroiro

Iroiro = Japanese for various, etc.

***

The school district sent me 19 pages of paperwork to fill out in advance of Little Guy's switch from Early Intervention to the domain of the school district.  One of the questions asked, "What, if any, activities does your child participate in outside the home?" Wonder what they were looking for?  I answered:  "Three hours in Sunday School and toddler church on Sundays, nursery on Wednesday night, play group ... and goes with Mommy to Mommy's doctor visits, grocery shopping, funeral visitations and high school concerts and plays."

***

While playing with three little frogs in his carseat the other day, he pretended they were at the fireworks.  Curious, I asked, "Where are the fireworks?" and was told, "Way up in the sky."  Duh! :)  He then returned to the world of his imagination and one of the frogs said, "I must take my hearing aids off. The fireworks are very noisy." :)

***

This week has been very light on appointments for us, something I have enjoyed, but LG has decidedly not.  Every day he asks where we're going, and after each stop, "Where are we going next?"  When I say, "Home," he'd rather go yet one more place.  I'm thinking he's not a good candidate for home schooling. :)

***

I decided spur-of-the-moment to get some mums and a pumpkin for our porch.  And went to the hometown nursery.  After looking around awhile outside at what was available, I started to go inside.  A typewritten note taped onto the door instructed me that they are currently unstaffed and to please leave my money in the black box inside.  I also found a little notepad where three prior customers had left their name, a list of what items they purchased, and the amount of cash they left in the black box. :)

***

Every garage sale seems to have a free box.  And every garage sale person really wants to get rid of all their inventory, including what's in the free box.  Last weekend, a lady stood up, walked over to LG, gave him a plastic shopping bag, and said, "You can take whatever you want from this box.  Just fill this bag up."  I was shocked into silence.  I did tell him he had to stop at three items, and, much to his dismay, I did not let him drink from the cup until we took it home and washed it.  But, all three items are now in the trash.  I guess I'm prepared for the next garage sale, and will need to do a little prep-talk pep-talk before we get out of the car. :)

***

Couldn't believe it that a gallon of whole milk for LG cost less this week than a gallon of distilled water for Jim's C-PAP machine!

***

LOVE our small town pharmacy. It's in the next town (5 miles away).  At 11.30 AM I exited my allergist's office 25 miles the opposite direction, got in the car, called the pharmacy, said they should be getting a prescription by phone or fax soon from my allergist, and could they add it to the delivery to our town.  I couldn't get from the allergist's to the pharmacy and home before naptime, and I wasn't sure if there'd be time after naptime to get it either.  The worst part is that I had to stay up during naptime to answer the door. :)

***

I learned that our refrigerator magnets (that display our church's children's ministry logo) can survive a trip through the washer and the dryer.  Ahem!  Guess who is tall enough to reach the magnets?!

***

ABC Bible verses

Have you seen this making the rounds on Facebook?  Perhaps it's the motivation we need to start our toddler memory program. :)

ABC Bible verses

Mom-fail

It's common for moms to talk about their "mom-fails." 

I well remember the day we left for a funeral an hour away and realized, after we arrived, that my carefully packed bag of food and drinks for a baby just starting table food was sitting at home.  A quick trip to a gas station (this country's version of convenience stores) provided some food.  And the stimulation of aunts, uncles, and cousins kept the baby from eating as much as usual.  Crisis averted.

My most recent "mom-fail" story:

Sitting in a darkened auditorium, watching the high school play last week, I heard a little boy stage-whisper to me, "Battery."  I reached in my purse (in the semi-dark), found the hearing aid (HA) batteries and the tool to open the HAs, and replaced the battery without losing the old battery, which I considered a great success.  A few minutes later, I heard again, "Battery. It not working."  I repeated the whole process, this time realizing that his battery indeed was not working, for I had put a dead battery into his HA. Mom fail! 

Next time hopefully I'll remember that the new batteries have an orange sticker affixed to them. :)

Do you have any mom-fail stories you'd like to share? :)

Why our toddler wears Christmas pajamas every night

Zip-up fleece jammies with footsies are irresistible, and so Little Guy has a drawer-full.  

Because I don’t generally buy clothes new, I shop garage sales or online garage sales.  And, if there's one thing I find there, it's toddler jammies.  

My guess is that moms and grandmas and aunts of other little children cannot resist buying zip-up fleece jammies with footsies either.  And, the Christmas-themed jammies are especially irresistible!  Yet how many Christmas jammies can a child wear?   

So, there are lots of children out there who were given multiple pairs of Christmas zip-up, fleece jammies with footsies and who barely wore them and now the child wears a 3T instead of a 2T, so their Mom had a garage sale and sold the 2T Christmas jammies … to me!

And that is why our toddler wears Christmas jammies every night. :)

Today's random thoughts

When parenting a toddler, it's key to know what their currency is.  I'm a slow learner, but I'm learning that getting to push the little grocery cart, getting to ride the tractor when Daddy parks it in front of the house for a quick lunch, and sitting on those kiddy rides in front of stores are all valuable currency.  I'm slower at learning that promising such in advance is better than threatening to remove the possibility of such in the middle of a meltdown.

On a related note, meltdowns are the price one has to pay for having an audiologist 70 miles away.  It's almost impossible to have an audiology appointment and not miss or severely shorten nap time.  Translated, the next day is payout time. :(

I met another toddler with hearing aids today.  He has a completely different diagnosis than Little Guy does, but I had a very encouraging (and hopefully mutually so) conversation with his nanny at the mall.  He also had one of our favorite therapists! :)

It's the SAME!

Each time I read a book to Little Guy, he stops me emphatically, loudly, and excitedly at some point in the book to call out, "Same! It's the same!" and close the book to confirm that, yes, the picture on the page I am attempting to read is also the picture on the front of the book. 

I don't think I would ever notice that, but, given that one of his senses does not work fully on its own, his other senses are more alert, especially his visual observation skills.

And, so, as we were reading a library book this week, it didn't strike me as odd that he went through his, "Same!" routine.  But what did strike me as odd is that the picture he pointed to was not the picture on the cover of the book.  

I looked again at the picture on the page I was attempting to read.  Oh!  It's the same as one we have on the dining room wall. 

As I was looking back at the picture on our page, LG was saying, "Is it the same? Do you want to show me?"

And so I took the book and held it up next to the painting on the wall, and he looked back and forth and back and forth. Don't you wish you knew what was going on in his brain as he compared the two?

Children: A First Art Book, by Lucy Micklethwait (see a list of all her books on Amazon; we got ours through InterLibrary Loan, but many are a penny + shipping)
Diego Velázquez's Prince Baltasar Carlos on Horseback

MARTIN LLOYD JONES' 10 PARENTING TIPS

MARTIN LLOYD JONES' 10 PARENTING TIPS

1. Don't discipline your children when your own emotions are out of control.
2. Don't be inconsistent or capricious in dispensing discipline.
3. Be willing to hear your children's "defense" of their behavior.
4. Don't be selfish as a parent.
5. Recognize that adolescence is difficult for everyone.
6. Welcome conversation at the dinner table (and give the Christian viewpoint on the topics that surface).
7. Be willing to answer your children's questions.
8. Promote thankfulness - always give thanks before eating meals.
9. Give clear guidance to outside influences on your children.
10. Point your children to Christ with patience and diligence. Keep praying when they reject Him. Live life in a way that makes Jesus Christ attractive to them.

{not sure of the source; it was languishing in my draft folder ...}

1000 Gifts, Vol. 5, #24

231.  high school play - a comedy

232.  fun day with one of Little Guy's cousins

233.  fun at the pumpkin farm on a PERFECT fall day

234.  running into a friend I hadn't seen in 2 years ~ at IGA, of all places!

235.  invitation to a ladies' testimony night

236.  afternoon of fellowship for our Sunday School class ~ at a distant farm on a gorgeous day!

237.  small group ~ the love and care and prayer

238.  securing a babysitter & ... (see #239)

239.  anticipating attending the Gettys' concert!!

240.  the pain of grief because it represents the the joy of loving deeply

Combine

This has been a banner year if you love combines, as our resident 2.75 year old does. :)

He has ridden the combine twice.  The first time, we delayed nap time, and it was worth it, even though he only got to ride a couple rounds. The second time, he got to ride a l-o-n-g time, and even steer the combine (tho' he didn't like Daddy helping him!) AND push buttons!!! 

Of course, every day that we go somewhere, which is usually 6 days out of 7, we see combines in every other field that we pass or on the road coming towards us or on the road ahead of us.  And, LG always points out, when he sees a tractor with grain wagons behind it, that that is Grandpa.  (Ahem!)  I usually say, "It's probably *someone's* Grandpa." :)

We have stood out on the back patio to watch the farmer behind us drive his combine around two sides of our yard (since we live on the outer corner of a subdivision that juts into a field).

And, of course, LG plays with his model combine and his tiny combine and puts his tractors in his "shed," i.e., the bottom right cube in the 9-cube storage unit for his toys. And, on top of all that, Mommy spoiled him with buying a bigger toy combine for $8 on VarageSale, a combine that lights up and makes an engine sound, and has a bean header that spins when you drive it across the floor, and has a cab that a farmer (Little People person) can sit in.  

And, since this is the season of "Why?", I hear questions such as, "Why is the combine on the road?" "Why is that not Grandpa?" "Why he have a red combine?" "Why that a gray tractor?" and even, after I pointed out some combines on a Sunday afternoon and said that God doesn't want us to work on Sunday, "Why God crying?"

I bought an eyeglass repair kit at IGA and LG told the checkout man that it was a battery for the combine.

My hairdresser lets him play with perm rods, and he took a bunch over to the waiting area and said they were his tools he was using to fix his combine.

So, it sounds like, if you have a combine that needs a battery or a repair, I've got just the toddler to do it for you!

Transcript

It's been awhile since I've transcribed Little Guy's speech.

The other day he wanted to help me "make" the bed (or, rather, "unmake," as I was stripping the sheets to launder them).  So, I gave him the pillows and asked him to take the pillowcases off.

And this is the monologue I heard:

I'm going to open this.
What's in it?
I will figure it out.
Where is the leper (=zipper)?
You need to take these off.
I got it.
Where IS the leper (=zipper)?
What's in it?
A pillow!
Yay! We have a pillow in there. 

Home is where your ... Starbucks mug is from?!?

Do you have a special mug?  My all-time favorite is one I purchased for $1 at Big Lots back in 2004!

My second favorite is a Starbucks mug from Nagano, Japan.  I'm not sure it's sold anymore, and mine has a small hairline crack forming.

At one time I had three Starbucks tumblers from Japan, special New Year's Editions, but they have each bitten the dust.

I'm not one to buy a Starbucks mug from every airport I visit, but the Japan ones were / are special because they represent the place that was home for so long and still feels like home in my heart.

One day early this summer, I walked into Kroger to do my grocery shopping, and spied on a rack right inside the door a Starbucks You Are Here mug for our state.  Without a moment's hesitation, I picked it up, walked to the counter and purchased it.  {A long-ago-purchased Groupon loaded onto my Starbucks card means that I paid half price. Yay for Groupons!}

Not until later that week did I realize what deep psychological meaning that purchase held.  With this mug, I thee wed .... no, with this mug, I acknowledge that this place is my home now and my roots are going down here.

Home sweet home.   Land of Lincoln, corn, soybeans, corn cribs, Mississippi Palisades, Lewis & Clark Confluence Tower, and Mississippi River steamboats ... and me!

Do you have a favorite mug?