Deadline of big project

::written November 9, 2024::

The deadline is approaching, and I think I’ve done everything.  There’s just a lot to keep track of.  

The private estate sale was going to end the 8th I thought, but he said he’ll be done the 18th.  

The secondary auction company (which is emptying the house of all but window treatments, ceiling lights, appliances - & mattresses/ box springs) will be there the 13th and 18th (& will also make deliveries of furniture people bought at the private estate sale).  

The cattle farmer has his cattle off the farm.  

The corn farmer harvested his corn.  

I’m to meet with the auctioneer Nov. 25th and give him a key, so he can start showing the house on the 30th.  He will start putting signs up the 25th.  

And then we just keep praying. 

And on the evening of Dec. 14th I’ll breathe a huge sigh of relief and celebrate. :) 

(But the closing is / closings are within 30 days, and pipes might freeze, so my brother-in-law will be on duty to turn on space heaters… so much to think about!)

And then the end of January, some antiques will be auctioned in another city. 

 

I’ve filled out the new client form for an accounting firm and have a list to do for them.

I’m exhausted … and worried about academic options … and harvest isn’t over … and it’s no wonder I’m sick. I spent yesterday in bed. The silver lining is that BK brought me supper in bed, prepared supper for him & LM and boiled Jim’s eggs for the week. :) 

It will all work out. :)  

Season Opener

Yesterday was the season opener of spring townwide garage sales!

A friend and I printed off the map and listing (of 61 sales!), took our to-go cups and dollars, prayed we would find the items on our list, and hit about ten of them. 

At the first sale, I found this teeter-popper for $7. Several years ago I found one (also for $7) at this same townwide.  Our children are not ready to let ours go, but a fellow adoptive mom I know has been looking for one, so I got it for her children's sensory needs. 

Two pairs of shoes, swim goggles, two pairs of boys' pjs, two church shirts, two church pants, a hoodie, three other shirts and a (Gulp! $10) pair of jeans...

Some books, some drawing books, an easy word-find, a year of JR Clubhouse magazine, and two activity packs. (LM only has 5 more weeks of children's church. I am accumulating quiet activities for a church bag for her.)

I think the Lord answered our prayers. (My friend found the two things she was looking for ... and a third item, which will be helpful.)

On to the next town next weekend. :) 

One afternoon in April

3.30 - drop BK off at the high school 6 miles southeast. 

Drive home

4.00 - drop LM off at tutoring 7 miles south.

Drive home

5.00 - pick LM up

Go directly to the high school (8 miles northeast from tutoring)

5.30 - 5th grade band showcase

Drive home

And this was an afternoon full of "close by" activities.  This coming Saturday, I drop BK off for a 9 AM volunteer opportunity with Trail Life 22 miles northwest of here.  The previous times he has done it, I have then dropped LM off 26 miles southeast of there for tutoring. And then repeated the loop in reverse to pick BK up before picking LM up!!  This time, LM & I will hang out, and her tutoring got moved to the afternoon. Whew!!

The Class

A week ago I dressed professionally, put on makeup, and even painted my nails.  I went straight from my hair appointment, so I even looked better than usual.  And I had picked up new eyeglasses the day before, so I had an updated look.  None of that was necessarily essential (& the hair & glasses were not intentional), but I wanted to look professional when I went to "the class." 

If this sounds similar to "the meeting," it is. 

I had received an invitation to speak to a class of Elementary Ed & Special Ed students at the local state university.  My mission was to help them understand special ed & special needs children from the perspective of the family.  

I started by telling of the medical diagnosis leading to Early Intervention services, which then transitioned to a school IEP by age 3 for BK.  I included the story of LM *not* qualifying for EI services, despite three evaluations.  As I looked back on so many IEP meetings, and so many conversations, decisions, and appointments over the past 11 years, I could say to these college students, "Knowing what I know now, I would have advocated for more or for things to be done differently" at so many of these junctures.  But I did the best I could. 

I explained life outside of school. I explained all the appointments. I explained that our children's specialists are 70 miles away or in the next state (but seen on telehealth) or in Los Angeles (and seen on telehealth).  I asked them to consider how many times our children (who can't afford to miss school) have missed school for appointments (or travel to appointments).  

I asked them to consider how many moms are stay at home moms (very few!), how many moms can show up at whatever time the school sets the IEP meeting, and even how many moms in a different demographic might just sit through the IEP meeting with their eyes glazed over, quickly sign their name, and leave, without having understood everything (or much of anything).   

They listened intently. They asked wonderful questions. They asked how they can help parents feel more a part of the IEP team. (I had explained that attending an IEP meeting can feel like being invited to attend a club meeting of a club to which you do not belong.) They asked how they can help parents know how to advocate better for their child/-ren.  I asked how many of them had been to an IEP meeting. None. That really should be part of their training... 

The professor said if she teaches this course again, she'll invite me back.  I would love to have more opportunities like that to share our story and to help future professionals prepare to help other families.  

I can understand why so many of the moms I know from special needs FB groups have gone on to receive training as parent advocates.  

Dumpsters, billboard, rags, paint, portraits, mattresses, & a basket

I'm writing this six months in advance of posting.  I would tell you that we have done 99% of the work of emptying my parents' house.  But my mind is still whirling with all these topics. 

This morning, as I try to redeem 15 minutes between dropping the children off at school and preparing to welcome moms to come and pray as part of Moms in Prayer, I'm dashing off emails and texts.

What size dumpster do we need to rent in Tennessee at Thanksgiving to empty out an attic full of 124 years' worth of broken chairs?

What is the best way to dispose of 11 mattresses & box springs? Dumpster? Pickup truck to the dump? 

Have I confirmed with the auctioneer that I'm leaving the billboard (previously rented by a now-closed restaurant) on the property, since we're selling "as is"?

Will the auction company doing the private estate sale in the house keep their word and not sell the items I stashed in two closets to retrieve at Thanksgiving - one closet containing rags & a vacuum to clean the mess we make emptying the attic and another closet containing portraits I put aside for the county archives and a basket my mom made & which I didn't want to risk in my suitcase when I flew home in October? 

Will we remember to put the paint in the cellar for the future owners? 

My mind is whirling!

Thankfully by the time this posts, I will not have to worry about any of this. 

1000 Gifts, Vol. 7, #52

511. the redbuds are still "redbudding"

512.  the joy I get as I spy each one 

513.  a smooth monthly infusion (4.5 hours; easy stick; no reactions)

514.  Easter worship! 

515.  Jim's birthday 

516.  celebrating another year of God's goodness to him & through him!

517.  report that new reading curriculum is helping LM!

518.  75* weather and children from 6 families playing games in the park after school 

519.  watching each other's children while different moms had to run errands

520.  one clean room in our house (IYKYK) 

1000 Gifts, Vol. 7, #51

501. Periwinkle sky
502. White lazy clouds 
503. Freshly mowed lawns 
504. Laughter
505. Simple meals
506. 5 minute vist with grandma 
507. A letter in the mail from Ana ( my mom)
508. Planters in the fields
509. A friend’s house project completed 
510. Praying friends 

The Meeting

A few weeks ago I dressed professionally, wore jewelry, put on makeup, and even painted my nails.  None of that was necessarily essential, but I want to look professional whenever I go to "the meeting." 

This was the annual IEP meeting for LM.  IEP = Individualized Education Program

I had spent much time in the weeks leading up to the IEP meeting, researching, networking, praying, and mobilizing prayer. 

I had been quite nervous the day before, but that morning told Jim that I could tell people were praying.  And I came home exhausted (feeling like I had been through the wringer in fact), but thankful.  Very thankful!!  The only way it could have gone better is if the Lord had miraculously opened a Christian special ed school in our village! 

As a result of the meeting, the team:

• changed the reading curriculum they’re using with her (to UFLI, one on my shortlist of three I was hoping for), 
• increased her daily 1:1 special ed minutes for reading from 25 to 45 (she will continue to have 25 min/day 1:1 in special ed for math, and 50 min/day with a 1:1 aide in the classroom), 
• decided to do a phonemic awareness assessment & add a few more reading goals,
• strengthened her goals, assuming that she will make ambitious progress (more than 12 months progress in 12 months),
• kept her on the OT caseload to make sure she gets enough sensory breaks so she can learn, 
• more than doubled her speech goals to include ones that are communication-based (learning how to form sentences & questions) rather than just articulation (/l/, /r/, and /th/), 
• and added a few accommodations I asked for, including:
•  remote learning day (snow day) packets to be on her instructional level rather than her grade level, 
• minimizing the amount of time she participates in sustained independent reading until she attains mastery, and 
• not using the computer-based special ed instruction software during her 1:1 time with the special ed teacher.  

All of this is in addition to twice-weekly tutoring we provide, and a summer homeschool I am planning even now.  

If you know and love our sweet (& very capable, might I add!) girl, will you please pray that she will indeed make ambitious progress? 

I have a lot I could say, but in this public place, I will focus on gratitude & prayer. :) 

Pendulum

Last week my days resembled a pendulum.  Rest. Race. Rest. Race. Rest. 

I spent Monday in bed with a fiction book, recovering from the church ladies' retreat (& the fallout from my being gone for two days). 

I spent Tuesday during the school day at my eye appointment and running errands in town. 

I spent Tuesday afternoon taking the children back to town with me for one to have an appointment and the other to run in ALDI with me. 

I spent Wednesday getting almost 12,000 steps ... tidying the house for Moms in Prayer, going up & down stairs putting things in the basement, bringing laundry downstairs, changing sheets, etc.!  (Basically "righting the house" after being gone on the retreat & then not having "housework" days.)

I spent Wednesday afternoon helping BK clean out the garage while LM was at tutoring and then attending Awana Sparksville with LM (instead of sitting in a pew at prayer meeting).

I spent Thursday recovering moving very slowly.  At 11.30 I was still in my pajamas, after a phone call and a little computer work.  

Thursday afternoon BK mowed the yard for the first time, and we sold the airplane teeter-totter.

Friday morning I visited a friend. Friday afternoon we played in the back yard, and then spent a couple hours at the grandparents'.  We are in a strange place between the end of basketball & cheer season and the start of baseball season.  Plus two standing appointments in our life have mostly been rescheduled each week, so it's hard to know what day it is! 

Do you ever have pendulum days? 

The Archives

Despite how my last post in this series might sound, we did not throw away every box or paper in "The Archives."

Despite being advised by a highly regarded archivist that we not separate the archives, we did.  It was impossible for any one person to keep it, and the only option for an organization that might take it all and keep it together is an archive that would require a year of preliminary work (by an archivist to whom we would have to pay a year's salary) before they would even determine *if* they might accept it.  We did not feel that that was the path of wise stewardship.  

Each grandchild (my cousins and I) received a folder of pertinent photos and newspaper clippings.  

One of my cousins's sons with a degree in (& strong interest in) history took 2 or 3 bankers boxes to house and enjoy. 

The County Archives took 3 large family portraits of my great-grandparents, great-great-grandmother, and great-great-great grandparents. Whew!  Glad those won't end up in Cracker Barrel. :)

The Archives of Appalachia took about 3 banker's boxes full of papers, ledgers, books, and more!  

A local historic home took another great-grandfather's portrait and one small item. 

A local college received items on four different occasions, including a yearbook, photos, a course catalog and more from before the turn of the century ... the 20th century, that is!

More than one item went to auction. 

But the miracle in this story is that by the last day of my October trip, all but two boxes of the archives had found a good home!  (I ran out of time, and realized I could bring two boxes back to Illinois to sort at my leisure.  But, I am not keeping archives!)

One of my prayer requests was that we would be good stewards and find the right home for each item.  And the Lord answered!

Insurance

Even though Jim is self-employed and we pay OUT THE ROOF for health insurance, we have had a really good policy (for our needs) the past several years.  Unfortunately, the company is going out of business at the end of the calendar year (maybe because it has worked so well for people like us!).

As I think about having to choose a new health insurance plan (& company), I dream about our being able to use a medical sharing plan.  But just two of my meds cost more than $100K per year. And that's not counting the new $800 inhaler I was prescribed last month (which lasts a month).

We were on a special needs parenting panel at church five years ago, and one of the questions was about any concerns or fears we have when we think of the future.  

My worst-case-scenario answer surprised Jim.  I said, "What if we are in a concentration camp at some point and BK can't access hearing aid batteries?" Of course, now he has rechargeable hearing aids ... so what if he has limited to no access to electricity?

Our country has come to depend on an unsustainable health insurance situation.  And the cost of medical care is also unsustainable.  

It's not unrealistic to think that in my lifetime there could come a day when I will not be able to access the meds that currently give me (a measure of) health.  I say frequently, "If I had lived 100 years ago, I would have been dead at a much younger age." It's true.  

Our life, our days, our times are in His hands. And He has every one of them numbered.  

Handy tools in my bag (literally)

My Mary Poppins bag is much smaller these days. In fact, I'm trying to consolidate to a belt bag (worn over my neck).  Two (of the many) things in my Mary Poppins bag these days that are super helpful are: 

This slim wallet ~

And this pill case ~ 

With all the compartments, I can keep several medications easily available, from children's benadryl to tylenol, Tums, or whatever. (It comes with stickers to label each compartment. Or a Sharpie works, too.) 

Any other recommendations?

Episodes

We have had lots of stormy days and storms and intense weather so far this spring, even some tornado warnings. During one such warning, I was in the basement, and started hearing water gushing in.  All the towels & rags in my rag bin (a laundry basket) were not enough to sop it up. 

Last Saturday evening, when water started coming out of the fridge, Jim & BK used the kitchen rags to sop it up.  (We discovered that a pizza box had engaged the water dispenser, which is *inside* the fridge...).  Thankfully, it's not time for a new refrigerator!  Whew!

Monday evening, Jim came to bed and said the dishwasher was leaking. By the time I raced downstairs, it was doing more than leaking! All the rags were still in the basement, so I dumped out all my kitchen towels onto the floor, turned the dishwasher off, and went to bed. :) (The next morning it completed its cycle, and after I unloaded it, I cleaned out the filter.) Thankfully, it's not time for a new dishwasher! Whew!

Tuesday morning I sat at the eye doctor's office trying to read the smallest line of letters I could see, and ended up in tears, which completely complicated the process!  The (very young) girl doing the exam told me it was okay, and I didn't need to cry.  But she didn't know that the tears represented more than frustration with my struggle to see.  She had no way of knowing that the basement had had a small flood, the refrigerator had leaked onto the kitchen floor, the dishwasher had leaded onto the kitchen floor, et cetera! 

Tuesday afternoon, I was conversing with a caring adult in our life, and BK interrupted, "Are you crying?" I replied, "Not yet. But I'm sure I will at some point today." 

And *that,* ladies & gentlemen, is the season we are in ... the sowing in tears. 

Praying that we will see the principle worked out in our lives:

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

The Never-ending task

During the third (of four) weeks I spent emptying my ancestral home last year, one afternoon my cousin and I sat in the parlor, each going through "the archives."  My cousin was sorting a box of letters from the 40s and 50s to and from our parents, our aunt, and grandparents.  

And she said, "We will never finish this task. It’s unending."  And I said, "Oh, that reminds me of this song." 

We stopped and listened...

... and with tears in our eyes, we immediately threw away that box of letters.  We determined that the people who wrote these letters wouldn’t want us spending our time going through them. They would want us spending our time on the true unfinished task.

Nine jobs I have had

I've listed below ten jobs.  Nine I have had, but one I have not. Can you pick it out? (Don’t cheat by looking at the comments!)

1 -  Summer camp counselor

2 -  Geometry tutor

3 -  Camp kitchen worker

4 -  Library worker

5 -  Seafood restaurant line worker

6 -  ESL teacher

7 -  Milking cows

8 -  Latin teacher

9 -  Costume designer

10 -  Babysitter

:)

Can you stump me? 

Prayer Meeting Workshop

A few weeks ago for prayer meeting, we had what felt like a wonderful literature course, analyzing and then comparing & contrasting a prayer from Valley of Vision and a liturgy from Every Moment Holy.  Then we had time to write our own prayer and pray it out loud if we desired to.  

Most of our praying is extemporaneous, but writing prayers out can be a good activity.  Do you write your prayers often? In different seasons of my life I have done so, but not lately, so it was good to be still and do so. 

Liturgy for a Tired Mom

Lord, you created families,

     and you created our family ...

           the miracle of determining the time and the place where each of us would live

so that we would seek God.

You placed us four, 

     with our very different personalities, 

          strengths, 

               physical limitations, and 

                    emotional needs 

in our nuclear family. 

I thank you for your creativity on display. 
I thank you for built-in opportunities to 

     show compassion,

          give grace, and 

                bear each other's burdens.  

You, O Lord, are the Father of Compassion, 

     the source of all grace, and 

         the ultimate burden-bearer. 

Forgive me for attempting to do it all. 

Strengthen my compassion,

     my ability to give grace and

          to bear burdens. 

When my children experience compassion, 

     grace, or 

          a lifting of their burden from me, 

help them see YOU! 

Give me your wisdom to know 

     how to respond in each unique situation ~ 

when to comfort and 

     when to correct,

when to instruct and 

     when to simply listen,

when to teach a lesson and

     when to teach by ignoring the offense and

          demonstrating the power of forgiveness.

Mostly, Lord, give my mind your rest.

Forgive me for fretting that I might make a mistake.

    (I have made & I will make mistakes.)

Let me walk in step with your Spirit,

     day by day and

          moment by moment,

that my words and actions may be filled with 

     your love,

          your joy,

               your peace, 

                    your patience,

     your kindness, 

          your goodness, 

               your faithfulness,

                    your gentleness,

     and the self-control that comes from you. 

May our family, 

     which you miraculously put together, 

be people who seek you with all our hearts 

     and find you.

For Jesus' sake, 

     Amen. 

Grocery Haul

The other day I spent more at Aldi than I have ever spent at a grocery store in my life. 

True, I stocked up on snacks and also on beef to roast for Jim’s tractor meals this planting season. But I avoided the Aisle of Shame and we did not buy any chocolate except for chocolate chips for baking.

When I got home, I opened the two bags of mini pretzel twists and divided them into a couple dozen snack zip top bags.

I boiled six eggs for Jim’s breakfasts and tractor lunches the next few days. 

And I had grand plans to make a huge fruit salad, but the day wasn’t long enough. That will be tomorrow morning‘s first chore.

And then my next chore will be to check the "best by" date on all the meat and make a list for the fridge.  

What food prep do you do as soon as you get home from the grocery store? Any tips?

Today (Wednesday)

Today ... 

started wonderfully with two other moms coming at 8.30 to spend an hour praying for our children & their teachers & schools.  (Today's prayer sheet: God is our counselor.)

I really wanted to go back to bed, but I pressed on, telling myself I could have a cup of tea after I unloaded & loaded the dishwasher. ;) 

While I was at it, I cleared the table & put on a tablecloth. 

When you clean up one mess, it's easier to see others. So I took the snack bags of pretzels off the kitchen counter to put in the van.  Next, spying the bin of Easter decorations on the kitchen island, I hung a "He is risen" banner, put a few pretty things on the table, and set the bin near the basement door to go back to its storage spot.  The rice container was still sitting out from days ago.  So I emptied its shelf in the pantry to find space for it, and in doing so combined 3 or 4 half-full containers of various dry goods to make space.  

I sighed with the pride & satisfaction of a job well done, sat down with my hot tea, and started making a list of the next things I need to do. :) 

And on and on it goes, right? 

I am reminded of a verse my former team leader quoted frequently, "Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests." (Proverbs 14.4)

Thankful for our "manger" and "oxen," and praying for abundant harvests (of righteousness & peace). (Hebrews 12.11)

The Grader - Have you ever seen one?

This was a real mystery.  

Different ones who visited my parents' farm over the past year sent me photos of things they found fascinating. This was in the barn loft.  

I spent hours there as a child, playing in the hay, and even doing chores such as throwing hay down to feed the cows.  I was never part of stacking the hay as it came up from the wagon on a hay elevator.  But it has probably been years since I have been up in the loft! The stairs became very uneven over time.  And actually by the time this is published, the barn may be a thing of the past. 

I don't remember ever noticing this before.  I started googling to find out more about this or to see if it had value.  It was hard to know what search words to use!  

I found an article that helped us understand more about it. (Link here.) Farmanddairy.com article titled "Hard work helped by early technology," by Sam Moore, published January 29, 2015.  This article explains more about fanning mills in general.  https://worldclassantiques.com/insights/fanning-mill.aspx

There's one on exhibit at the Henry Ford Museum.  (See here.) And at many more museums around the country.  

One of my cousins said he would take it if he were opening a museum.  As my mom said, I'm not opening a museum either. I'm closing one!  TRUE!!

Further searching showed that it was produced by Crosby and Sons Manufacturing Ashtabula, Ohio. “THE GRADER” 

photo from internet of someone else's that looks identical

My cousin wrote: "Based on those being there, I am guessing that a lot of land, maybe mostly bottoms land, was used for grain crops 100 years+ ago. I know they sold cheese. I wonder where or how it was ground into flour, since there's no water powered mill nearby is there?"

There was a gristmill if you go east on the road in front of the house, maybe half or 3/4 a mile right before the first road to the left. There was a big white two-story house that stood there and we used to go visit a lady who lived there. 

I remember Dad showing us a big white flour sack that had our great grandfather‘s initials stenciled on it and he would take grain to the grist mill in it to be ground. Dad would show it to us, because it had patches on it and even the patches were patched. And he said, "This is why we have what we have today."

In the end, I'm not sure where this fanning machine is.  I contacted six historical sites or museums.  Two already had one.  Two don't interpret that period of history. One is just starting and doesn't have room.  As of this writing, I had not heard back from the sixth.  I figure I did my due diligence.  And heaven has things much more wonderful than antique fanning machines. 
 

Edited to add that when we met the new owner of the house & barnyard in June 2025, we learned that he found a new home for the grader. :) 

Books

My mom is an inspiration! 

Before Christmas, she asked for her subscription to Christian History magazine to be renewed.  And also reminded us that "Hark the Herald" was written by Mendelssohn.  I hope my mind is that sharp at 90!!

Her room at assisted living is filled with books, and she spends a lot of time at the desk in front of her window ... reading while enjoying the birds at the feeders out her window, the squirrels, and the deer passing by along the edge of the woods.  I'd like to have time to do that! 

Besides her Bible, which she still reads ravenously, she is currently reading, "The Lord of Psalm 23," and tells me in each phone conversation what she has just learned and what she is meditating on and how amazing that particular truth about our Lord is.

It may be dangerous that I have her credit card and know how to ship books from Amazon to her door. :) Other books Amazon has delivered to her at assisted living include: 

• Every Moment Holy, Volume 1, 
• Pilgrim Prayers, 
• My Only Comfort, 
• Poetry of Redemption, 
• A Treasury of Thanksgiving, and 
• Peterson Field Guide to Birds.

What books should I order for her next? :)