Tidbits

After watching "A Great Awakening," I was looking for an accessible book about Whitefield.  I asked one of our pastors, and his reply was not encouraging: 

"Boy, an “accessible” bio on Whitefield, not sure it exists. I have three more scholarly works on him in my library plus Dallimore’s two volume massive work. This latter one is excellent, but it is very long."

Then I was purging some of our books to donate and spied this one on our shelves! Looks similar to the movie.

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In cleaning off my many piles on the dining room table, I found my favorite CD (Embrace the Cross by Chuck Swindoll).  I've been listening to it while I work on said piles of paperwork. :) 

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After weeks of being greeted with the message "Sorry you can't access YouTube with your account," I finally figured out the problem. BK was signed into his school gmail account on my phone. At least we know the limits were working!

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I learned this week that a missionary who stayed in my childhood home back in the 80s (and whom none of us have seen since then) is good friends with Jim's brother & his wife!

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The best way to keep your dishes always clean is to have an ant infestation and watch each and every dish by hand the moment it touches food!

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Not everyone likes rhubarb, so find yourself a friend with a patch! A friend mentioned on the local town FB page that she had some for sale.  I purchased a small amount. Later when I ran into her in the library I asked if she had sold it all, and she said I was the only one, so I purchased some more! ($1/4 stalks)

Monday

Monday was a doozy! But, what day isn't? ;) 

At 7.55, I was making my second trip of the day to the grade school.  We had forgotten LM's morning medicine! While I was in the lobby giving it to her, the school nurse walked through and called over her shoulder, "I'm getting low on her lunchtime medication."

I came home, sat at the kitchen table, and filled a sheet of notebook paper with the day's tasks.

Housecleaning: laundry, dishes, bathroom counter, make bed, put a few things away, sweep kitchen. (Half were completed.)

I made a list of eight prescriptions that needed refilled and called the pharmacy. 

I made a list of eleven office jobs.  And then spent the next 2 1/2 hours on the phone with insurance & doctors & the specialty pharmacy.  [Recently a professional was asking about our home situation and if I work. I replied, "I spend my days on the phone with doctors & insurance. She burst out laughing, before apologizing.]

From 11-12 I entertained two men from the flooring company, as they went ALL through the house.  The first one rang the bell. I didn't know another one was coming, and when he came, he just walked in through the garage since the garage door was open.  I apologized, saying that my husband's pig clothes are in the laundry room. Later, they had to look in the laundry room and the first man said, "I see what you mean." He should have said, "I SMELL what you mean!"

We ended up in the basement looking up in the rafters to see how the water for the ice maker is connected.  I think we are more crazy than ever to be signing a contract to replace the flooring in 4 rooms (plus a bath, the laundry room, and 4 closets)! But, it will be good to say Adios to the carpet!

After they left, I took my morning pills ... wonder how that prednisone will be affecting me around bedtime?!?

I completed six of the eleven office jobs.  One took untold phone calls, texts, etc., and I'm still not sure it's complete, but supposedly my infusion meds will show up on our porch Friday morning. We shall see. 

Another phone call led to my having to find my dad's death certificate and email it to their office.  Who knew this could go on and on?!

At 1.20 I sat down to eat lunch - loaded nachos and a smoothie (with spinach).  And looked forward more than usual to my weekly hour of respite in the university speech clinic waiting room during from 3-4 PM!

What nobody tells you about cleaning your parents' home

Of course that title grabbed my attention on Facebook!  In case it encourages you, read on.  

from Janet Stevens House Clearance Support Advisor on Facebook: 

You don’t have to keep everything to prove your love for them.

That’s something I wish more people were told when they start clearing a parent’s home after they’ve gone. 

Because somewhere along the way, many of us start to feel like the keeper of all our parents’ belongings — as if letting anything go might mean we’re letting them go too or somehow seeming like we don’t care. But that’s not true. 

Clearing a loved one’s home isn’t just about sorting through possessions. It’s about navigating layers of memory, identity, and grief - all while trying to hold life together, juggle work, family, and your own emotions. It’s a huge responsibility, and it can stir up so many conflicting feelings. You want to do right by them. 

You want to preserve what matters. But you also want space to breathe again. Here’s what l’ve learned — both personally and from supporting others through this process: 

* You don’t have to keep everything to honour them. 

* You can cherish what holds deep meaning and still release what doesn’t. 

* You can let go with love - passing things on, donating, or rehoming them so they continue their story with someone new. 

Letting go isn’t being careless or cold-hearted. It’s often a sign that you’re beginning to heal. 

Their memory doesn’t live in every object — it lives in you, in your stories, your gestures, and the values they passed on.

"I will not store things in boxes in a closet"

When given the choice of what I wanted to keep from my parents' home, I determined that I did not want to take any item that would just live in a box in a closet. It needed to be something I would use or put on display or see regularly. For the most part I was able to do so. 

But, now we are on a mission to look through the closets & cupboards of our home. And we are finding hidden treasures that we had forgotten! 

(My parents had not moved in 50-80+ years, and the house still contained belongings of previous generations - plural!  I was used to moving a lot in Japan, so was naturally forced to go through my belongings and pare down. We have been married 15 years, and so things accumulate.  Sigh!) 

We received a set of eight dishes from Japan as a wedding gift (15 years ago).  I pulled out the one with green & yellow stripes and put the box with the other seven dishes up in a cupboard. I have used this one daily for years as my teabag (or tea infuser) holder.  There are no markings, but I put in the dishwasher regularly with no problems.

Last week, I pulled the box out of the cupboard above our refrigerator.  I offered some to a friend who drinks tea with me regularly and is familiar with my teabag holder.  She took one and a few for her daughters.  

The remaining dishes might be passed on as well, or might become ring holders or bracelet holders in my top drawer.  Do you have any suggestions? 

What treasures have you found in your closets or cupboards lately? :) 

Christmas 2024

::memories from our Christmas road trip a year ago::

Every Christmas is different.  The 2024 Christmas season was short, because Thanksgiving was the latest it could have been, leaving less than four weeks between the two holidays.  

2024 was the year for Jim's side to spend Christmas Day with their in-laws. Often that means that Jim's side celebrates late, but it worked out better to celebrate on December 21 & 22, giving us only three weeks and a day between our Thanksgiving & Christmas celebrations with extended family from near and far.   

After two full days with Jim's side of the family, we spent Monday December 23rd driving to Tennessee.  The 600 miles were full of texts and concern and prayer meetings in the van, as my mom was spending the day in ER. 

We arrived in Tennessee after 9 PM, and as we were settling in to our AirBNB a friend texted back, "Would you like to talk with my husband?" Her husband, a family friend, is a physician, and though that certainly is not the reason I had texted her, when presented with that opportunity, I realized it would be comforting.  

So, as Jim and the children unpacked the van, explored the AirBNB and found bedrooms for each, I was carefully listening & frantically taking notes as our friend explained pulmonary embolisms (their cause, treatment, and prognosis) to me. 

I woke up very early on Christmas Eve, and although we were only around the corner from a local grocery store, I embodied the modern Proverbs 31 woman and "considered my online grocery order and had it delivered." Thanks to Walmart we had yummy breakfasts in our AirBNB!

I'm not sure how it all worked. I think Jim dropped me off at the hospital where I spent a few hours, while he & the children went to a state park (BK roller bladed; LM did cartwheels).  Later he picked me up and we ran errands and ate lunch. Then he dropped me off at the hospital again. 

The room was busy with various ones coming and going ... and noisy.  Constant beeping, a bed bath, the speech therapist, the phlebotomist, the chaplain (whom Mom knows! from Zimbabwe! and who knows a local lady who has been a longtime missionary PA there!), the doctor, the meal cart, two visitors ... and on and on it went. 

Jim and the children picked me up and we ate Christmas Eve supper at Cheddar's, lost (& eventually found) one hearing aid, and lost (& never found) one pair of glasses, and drove around looking at beautiful Christmas lights in a neighborhood with streets lined with luminarias.  

Christmas Day included opening our immediate family presents at our AirBNB, a visit to the hospital, setting festive tables in the church fellowship hall, a meal from Cracker Barrel with two of my sisters and their families, exchanging our presents, and then taking leftovers to the hospital for Mom and my other sister. Jim dropped me off there from 3.30-6.30.  Then we ate Christmas supper from the McDonald's drive-thru (!).

December 26th, I arrived at the hospital by 7.30 AM with my packed breakfast & tea in tow, so I would be there before the case manager or doctor showed up.

I took the van home, Jim and the kids dropped me back off at the hospital, and they went to swim!

On the 27th, after they dropped me off at the hospital, they went to the sensory gym AND to swim.

On the 28th, we woke up in a motel room (we needed to stay an extra night & our AirBnB was already booked).  I left Jim and the children to swim in the motel pool until check-out time, while I ran errands and picked up a cheerful grocery store bouquet (since we had learned Mom would be staying in the hospital over the weekend at least, just waiting for a bed to be available in the rehab hospital).  

 

We must have picked up lunch somewhere, and then Jim and the children dropped me off at a funeral home so I could go through the line at a visitation. (In the line I greeted a couple and a bachelor we know. In the congregation, I visited with four more couples and at least five more individuals from my childhood.)

Back to the hospital to say our good-byes.  And then back to my childhood farm for an hour hike in the woods (where Jim & I were engaged) and driving through the barnyard one last time.  

Then we hit the road!  Two hours later, we were at our regular Kroger for one of our favorite (?) road trip meals.  Two more hours, and we fell into bed at our favorite midpoint hotel, after driving through the 12 Days of Christmas display for the fourth time that season! Whew!

By prayer

I've said multiple times that the Lord gave many helpers and many pray-ers for the dissolution of my great-grandparents' farm & house. And that is true. 

On one day during one of my visits to Tennessee in 2024, I had multiple appointments around the dining room table at my parents' house. 

The first appointment went okay, but afterward I told my cousin (or Jim, depending on which week it was), "I'm going to start the next meeting in prayer." 

And I did! 

The auctioneer (former lieutenant governor) arrived, we sat down, and we had small talk about his memories of my parents through the years. Then as the conversation started to segue into the purpose of the visit, I interjected, "I just told so-and-so that I was going to start the next meeting in prayer. Do you mind?" Of course he didn't.

On the day of the auction, when we talked afterward, I said, "Many people have been praying," and he said, "Don't stop now." (He later said that everything that could go wrong did go wrong. But, God!!)

For over a year, my interactions with him were mainly over the phone until about six months after the auction when we were back in Tennessee. He arranged to visit with Mom while I was there, and I was sure to let him know that the auction was bathed in prayer!  In addition to family, the local church also prayed for the auction from the pulpit for months (and no doubt members did so daily).

We're thankful the Lord answered by granting favor. 

Amen!

One year

It has been a year since the farm auction in Tennessee.  The auctioneer said, "From the survey to the title, nothing has been simple." Praise God it is all finished!

I'm still a jumble of mixed emotions. And to be honest, my emotions are more jumbled now, possibly because it's final, or possibly because I had to focus like a laser beam to do the work last year, and now I can finally process.  

Text conversation ~ 

Friend: "Seems longer than a year in some ways when you were working on that project."

Me: "It's definitely one of those situations where you look back and wonder how you ever did it and the only answer is the Lord's enabling and lots of prayer." 

Friend: "Totally agree."

I found this on my computer recently, and thought it was worth preserving in my memories...

{written in October 2024, after I had flown to Tennessee, leaving the children with their grandparents, while Jim harvested}

Dear friends, 

We ALL were upheld by prayer last week. Thank you for praying!

BK & LM had a great week!  BK was a great help at their 94 & 84 year old grandparents', and got up without complaining at 5 AM Saturday for his swim meet, where he swam fast!  (He kept track and told me he rode in 6 different vehicles getting to & from his activities last week.) LM seems so much more mature & independent.   

I haven’t seen their grandparents yet. I imagine they are beyond exhausted!

Jim had a safe week of harvest, and we are all glad to be back together again as a family.

My first flight on the way to TN was greatly delayed, and I almost missed my (rescheduled) later connecting flight. One asthma attack later, I was on board just before the door closed, and I landed in TN at midnight Monday.  I really wanted to wake up Tuesday in TN to start working!

My cousin and I really sensed the Lord going before us in all we needed to do during our 4 days of working. We weren’t sure we would finish, but we did!! (Spoiler alert - I boxed up the last three boxes of archives, put them in a closet, and will bring them home at Thanksgiving to go through later.)

Answers to prayer:

* we finished!!!

* in the last box in the last closet, we found the things my mom had asked for from the house! 

* the antique company decided to do the private invitation-only estate sale (we were not sure until Friday noon that they were going to do so)

* a family friend came for three days to clean the house (my mom hadn’t been upstairs in recent years)

* the three of us worked together really well & enjoyed fellowship over lunch

* other friends brought us meals, took items to the UPS store to ship to cousins, took used clothing to be donated, took durable medical goods to a group that lends them out, etc.! 

* the Lord directed my steps (though really interesting ways) to three new archivists, and boxes of papers and books were able to go to places where they will be appreciated

* my mom came to see the “staged” house, and seemed okay with it. (She just wanted to sit on the porch swing one last time, which we helped her do.)

* I got more sleep than the previous visits!

* despite my loss of range of motion in my ankles (and pain from Achilles tendonitis), I got almost my double average number of steps every day with NO pain, and as soon as we were finished I was in pain again. God did a miracle!

* we found more treasures, including a prayer written by my father’s mother’s father (about whose spiritual life I did not know anything).

Every muscle in my body aches, and I assume it will take weeks to recover, but I want to give thanks in the congregation that the Lord helped us tremendously last week.  Thank you for being part of that through your prayers!

Now we pray for success of the private estate sale, safety at Thanksgiving when we empty the attic & cellar contents into dumpsters, and the Lord’s will in the farm auction on December 14th (specifically that the new owners will be good neighbors to those in the community). 

We are the recipients of much prayer, and we are thankful.

Love,

J~

Dried Apple Rings & Filberts

I have heard stories of my dad's dad driving from Tennessee to Pennsylvania in the 20's (the 1920s that is!) to visit his sister & her family and taking all sorts of food from the farm. 

My aunt told of returning to college (Lees-McRae) in the 50's and taking butter and cheese from home and storing it on the window ledge out her dorm room. 

The same aunt, when she and her family came for Christmas in the 70's and 80's, would come laden with their own harvest and baked goods. 

My dad's other sister brought us marzipan from Cyprus in the 80's and one time even sent lemons from their yard back to the U.S. in the 90's in my cousin's suitcase (!). And after they moved back to the States, she would bring fig jam from the fig tree in her backyard. 

Jim's uncle always used to bring HUMONGOUS (& delicious) sweet potatoes to the family reunion that happened in the fall and the every-4-years extended family Thanksgiving. 

When Jim's dad's cousin flew from Oregon a few weeks ago, he brought dried apple rings and filberts (some raw & some roasted with butter) to share.  

(The filbert tree is a close relative of the California hazel and a variety that is native to Oregon. Nearly 99 percent of the nation's filbert crop is produced in Oregon and often marketed as hazelnuts, to avoid confusion.)

Do you have relatives who always bring produce? At this point, I'm just in the observation stage. I haven't figured out how to interpret it (or to apply it, since I grow nothing). :)

 

The Pink Washcloth

Once LM was born, I lowered some of my laundry standards.  All kitchen washcloths and towels just get dumped into a dishpan under the sink.  Bath towels get folded, but bath washcloths get put in a bin in the bathroom closet. :) 

Most mornings when I pull out a washcloth, I get a beige or ivory washcloth.  So why do I have a pink washcloth? 

Because every time we brought something home from my parents' house last year, we used their towels & washcloths for packing supplies.  And actually, at the end, I think we decided that everyone there that day should take the good ones, rather than putting them in a dumpster.  

So, some days I wash my face with a pink washcloth that used to live in my parents' upstairs backporch.  

 

The upstairs backporch led from the hall to the {tiny} bathroom.  So the backporch held the towels & washcloths [on a bakers rack I won when a local furniture store hired a helicopter to drop numbered ping pong balls behind their store one Saturday morning!] and the towel "racks," which were 1 1/2" thick dowel rods my mom hung from the ceiling (four total; two pairs of one above another).

Feeds & Feeding

A year ago, we spent a hurried weekend in Tennessee, our last trip before the auction. 

On Friday before Thanksgiving, the house was virtually empty, and a dumpster was delivered.  By that evening, three family members had it 3/4 full (with items from the attic, the cellar, and the trash stored in the outbuilding).  On Saturday, as we drove 600 miles to Tennessee, we kept getting updates, as more family members arrived from out-of-state to help.  By evening, they had the contents of the attic staged downstairs and ready for another dumpster.  And by the time we left on Tuesday afternoon before Thanksgiving, the attic was empty & swept, three dumpsters had been filled, every floor in the house was mopped (twice!), and the only items remaining were the modem & router & alarm system.

We each chose treasures last year when we were dissolving my ancestral home.  In reality, every time we visited for the past decade, my parents asked if we wanted something.  And then in June and October I had chosen several items.  In August we had brought things back in the van.  But the weekend before Thanksgiving was our last opportunity, although the pickings were slim by that point.  BK chose this college textbook of my dad's.  💙 

Fall in our yard

The original owners of our house planted a row of evergreens along two sides of our yard.  But I'm very thankful we planted two maples when LG was a baby!

I grew up with four stately maples flanking the corners of our yard, so I am partial to maples.  

I am enjoying the variety of a yellow maple (sugar maple) and a red one. 

Jim walked in for lunch and was awestruck by how ablaze the sugar maple was.  I can't tell if part of it were truly green a few hours earlier (see last photo) or if the lighting makes it look that way.  

We're thankful for evergreens so we have some color (ha!) during the drab winter, but during fall, I'm thankful for our maples! 

Ordinary Saints

I wrote the date on a check a few months ago, and immediately thought, "It's Cousin S's birthday."

When I was a child, our life was full of elderly relatives.  Cousin S was one of them. We visited elderly relatives on Sunday afternoons, and they came to formal meals in our dining room. When the water froze (as it did in the winter of 77-78), my dad took them jugs of water.  When they needed anything, my parents were there to help.  

Cousin S wasn't my cousin or even my dad's cousin. She was one of my grandfather's first cousins.  She was born in the 1800s, and died at 100 when I was in college.  

For most of my life, she was what was known as a "shut-in." Her hearing aids never seemed to work, but she always had a pleasant smile on her face, and graciously welcomed visitors.  She sat by the front window and watched my dad bring cows and calves up to the barn in her field and then take them back to our farm.  She sat by the front window and watched my mom drive up and down the road. She wondered aloud why God allowed her to live so long and not go to heaven yet.  

As she aged, our (small) church set up a meals on wheels plan a few times a week.  Eventually, one of her nieces came to stay and take care of her and her sister.  

As I have spent a lot of time since last June going through the papers left behind by numerous ancestors, I have thought a lot about the brevity of life (even if you live to be 100!) and the immensity of eternity.  

Not many people today remember Cousin S. She's not in any history books.  But she lived a quiet life of confidence in her Savior.  

And she is enjoying His presence today ... and for all eternity!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I posted my thoughts above on Facebook that day, and discovered many people who do in fact remember Cousin S!  I also was surprised by comments by people here in the Midwest who never met her, saying how much they loved that post. 

I will paste my favorite comment below:

Those are beautiful memories and reflections. I have often thought of how many precious people have loved and walked with Jesus that we'll never know about until glory. The family of God! 

Yes! And that comment reminded me of D. A. Carson's book, "Memoirs of an Ordinary Pastor." So many ordinary saints & ordinary pastors who make up the church triumphant!

 

Grand Central Station

When Jim and I met the new owner of my family home in Tennessee, I mentioned that it's like Grand Central Station, and he said, "Yes! That's the exact word my wife uses!"

I joked that my parents lived at Grand Central Station. And even after my mom transitioned to assisted living, my sister had plenty of activity!

Even when I met a cousin there twice last year to empty the house, we had visitor after visitor! Some were because we had items for them to take, of course.  My mom's friend Karen stopped by each time to pick up items for a local college.  I had appointments with the auctioneer, an antique auction company, an archivist, and more.  I invited friends who were looking for property to come for lunch so we could talk in person.  My dad's second cousin from 2 hours away came with his wife one afternoon and helped go through archives.  Another second or third cousin from far away stopped by for a few hours on her road trip and helped.  Multiple other friends came ... to take medical supplies to a local ministry, to take the HUGE peace lily from the deck, etc.  And some people just stopped by because they saw vehicles and activity. :) 

Our family was there 3 1/2 days in November, and Jim commented that we interacted with more people then than we do in months here in our normal life.  Of course, there were the cousins and siblings and nephew who were helping, but there were also random people who stopped by.  

What about you? Do you live in Grand Central Station? 

Cloud of Witnesses, Part 2

We’ll start with FBR. Have you ever heard of her? I hadn’t either until a few years ago, when a distant cousin emailed me this quote she found while doing genealogical research:  “It was said of FBR(1764-1850) that in her prayers she always asked God’s blessing upon all her descendants to the end of time."  FBR lived from 1764-1850, and I am one of her descendants.  She is in my great cloud of witnesses.  She is my great-great-great-great-grandmother.  I look forward to meeting in heaven this woman who, in the 1700s, was praying for God’s blessing upon me.  

Who are some of the answers to her prayer whom God has used to bless me???

My grandfather Lessley is one. He died when I was 5, and my only memories of him are of driving up and down the highway at dusk looking for him after he had gone wandering due to dementia.  But one of my older cousins who lived with my grandparents for a year told me recently that every Sunday morning after our grandfather did his farm chores, he went into his bedroom and fasted and prayed.  

It stops me in my tracks to think of how I have benefited from the answers to his prayers. 

My parents & some of the people I’ll share about next taught me from my earliest memories that I was born a sinner, breaking God’s law, and in need of forgiveness. They taught me that Jesus died on the cross for my sin and that I could ask Him to forgive me and give me eternal life in heaven with him.  And as a young child, I asked Jesus to forgive my sin and make me His child.  My parents came alongside me in the best way possible.  And if I sat down right now, my cloud of witnesses would be amazing! But God has given me so many more!!

Cloud of Witnesses, Part 1

Summer Vacation ~ Day 38

Sunday, June 29 

A short visit with Mom at the rehab hospital before going to my childhood church.  Oh, the memories that come flooding back in that sanctuary! Bonus! My childhood pastor was preaching. :)

Jim and I stood in the aisle of the sanctuary after the service talking with the husband of the family who bought my childhood home. We felt like we were talking with an old friend, and could have talked all day.  It's so good to hear how they are making the house their own and pouring life into it!

Lunch at my sister's with all the family (except Mom) and our childhood pastor and his wife.  

We drove by the farm and house to see what changes were visible. 

A short rest, and then we all gathered at the rehab hospital for a family celebration of Mom's 91st birthday a few weeks early. :) 

Summer Vacation ~ Day 29

Friday, June 20

I was gone 8.30 AM - 4 PM. Whew! 

LM went to daycare (& VBS & a field trip to a splash pad in the rain!). 

I went to an oil change, Hobby Lobby for frames for two projects, an online garage sale pickup, and lunch out with Jim!! 

Then I went to the big city library, updated our reciprocal cards which had expired, got into a long conversation with a librarian about being a POA & in the sandwich generation (if you're a praying person, take a moment & pray for this lady?), checked out a bunch of Playaways for the children (audiobook mp3 players), ran by ALDI & dropped almost $200 (How?!?), picked LM up from daycare, came home, and logged into a Zoom, and then took a 5 minute time-out to put groceries in the fridge & freezer. Whew!!

At 5, I logged out, started one of two loads of laundry (I want to be caught up before BK comes home from camp) :) and did this fun project: 

I rescued these four antique postcards (3 from Switzerland and 1 from Belgium) from my parents' house last year.  My mom is a huge fan of still life paintings of fruit, and even won a blue ribbon at the county fair once for a painting she did! I was delighted to find these colorful frames that are made of distressed wood.  We plan to give them to Mom for her birthday gift.  

1000 Gifts, Vol. 7, #58

561.  a good trip to Tennessee

562.  time with family & friends

563.  getting to meet the man of the family that purchased our family farm there

564.  unexpected visit with cousins on the way home

565.  fellowship with extended family over the 4th

566.  an "easy" way for me to volunteer for our small town rec league ~ an hour shift selling drinks on the 4th

567.  a day to be still yesterday ... and rest 

568.  air conditioning!

569.  a small town tire shop to repair a tire with a nail in it

570.  Sunday matters! (book by that title here; I am cheap, and so just read his FB posts)

One year ago

One year ago today I woke up in the guest room of my parents' home.  My cousin had picked me up at the airport the night before and was in a room down the hall.  

We started in on what seemed like a completely impossible task. Where to start? What to do? What to prioritize? Things were still "as is" from when Mom was living there before her July 2023 fall & subsequent move to assisted living. 

Throughout the week, I had appointments with an accountant, an antique dealer, a potential buyer for the house, the funeral home.  I was trying to get my ducks in a row, but still not sure what to do. But we prayed, others prayed, we put one foot in front of the other, did the next thing, and slowly but surely, the Lord gave clarity. 

On my way home from meeting the funeral home man at Mom's assisted living, I took a load of trash to the dump and a load of donations to the thrift store.  The weight of it all really hit me.  And I was an emotional mess. 

There was a nightmarish encounter in there, too, with some people trying to take advantage of the property & items in the barn.

My dad's second cousin and his wife came from a couple hours away and helped sort through historical documents in the parlor. (It was their last time in the house ... Sigh!)

Some of my cousins' sons drove up from South Carolina to see Mom, walk around the farm, and say "good-bye" to the house. 

And on Saturday, my cousin dropped me off at the airport. I was tired. I knew our family would return in five weeks. And when Jim walked in, he couldn't tell we had done anything. Sigh.  (We had made progress, but we had barely made a dent in it.)

During our July/August weeklong visit, Jim and the children (and others) worked hard outside, emptying the outbuildings, and inside, emptying all the photo albums. I had more appointments (and most notably signed the contract for the farm auction). I literally scurried around the house all day each day, taking items off the walls, emptying drawers, etc.  We were exhausted!  We considered staying an extra day to get more done, but didn't.  We were too tired to be effective. And in fact, my body said, "No," on our last day there. I visited Mom that day. And I rested. I was spent. 

The October trip when I flew back and met my cousin there again was the one where we saw the most progress.  I had appointments. We had helpers.  Many people prayed.  And at the end of the week, everything the family wanted was out of the house. Only the items to be sold in the private estate sale were visible.  Things from the last 50 years (to be picked up at the end by a local auction house) filled a deep & tall closet.  And we had filled one outbuilding with trash.  The house looked staged.  (And all rooms had been cleaned.) Again, we were exhausted!

Six days before Thanksgiving, the house was virtually empty, and a dumpster was delivered.  By that evening, three family members had it 3/4 full (with items from the attic, the cellar, and the trash stored in the outbuilding).  The next day, as we drove 600 miles to Tennessee, we kept getting updates, as more family members arrived from out-of-state to help.  By evening, they had the contents of the attic staged downstairs and ready for another dumpster.  And by the time we left on Tuesday afternoon before Thanksgiving, the attic was empty & swept, three dumpsters had been filled, every floor in the house was mopped (twice!), and the only items remaining were the modem & router & alarm system.

If you've ever wondered how long it takes to empty a house of 124 years' worth of contents, it takes 22 weeks (if you live 600 miles away & have lots of helpers & lots of pray-ers). 

How the Lord graciously answered our prayers

I went to bed on December 13 a bit anxious, and woke up on December 14 with butterflies in my stomach.  

Two cousins had driven from out-of-state to be at the auction. I was useless that morning in our kitchen here 600 miles away, wondering, reading their texts, looking at photos they sent of the tent in the field, watching the panoramic video they sent of the scene.  It was hard. 

All I could do was wait and pray. 

The farm was divided into multiple tracts: house + barns + pastures, woods, two building lots, and three lots along the highway.  

We are so thrilled with how the Lord answered prayer and brought a family to be the next owners of our parents’, grandparents’ and great-grandparents’ house.  Many people had been praying for them for months, without even knowing their names. 

A few months before the auction, during a weekly prayer date, a friend prayed with tears in her eyes, thinking of how God has used the people who lived on that farm. She prayed that the new owners would also continue to use the house and use the property for God’s kingdom and to thrust out missionaries into the lost world.  So you can imagine how our hearts were filled with praise to the Lord when we learned that the new owners are Christ-followers.  After the auction, I told a distant cousin, “It couldn’t have worked out better unless a relative had continued living there,” and she replied, “They ARE relatives - our brother & sister in Christ!”

May the Lord give them and their family many happy years there, making memories, growing & serving! 

Many people had also been praying for the other new owners, but our hearts would have hurt if the house had been torn down immediately.  Knowing a family with children is living there is a joy!  The Lord also answered MUCH prayer regarding the woods.  We are full of thanks!

Night before an auction

::written several months ago::

Dear sisters, 

Cousin S's comment, “Bittersweet but necessary” has rung in my mind all these months.  I imagine all of our emotions are all over the place.  I had my first ever migraine (complete with aura), and I’ve had a night of interrupted, fitful sleep with nightmares.  I imagine you all might have had physical symptoms of stress also.  I think it’s natural, but I also pray we all find healthy ways of dealing with the stress. 

It is right to grieve. It is right to acknowledge the loss, the huge loss, and the end of this season.  On the mission field, there’s a lot of talk about saying “goodbyes” well so you can have space to say “hello” well in the next place.  None of us are moving to a next place, but it is a new season, and so I pray we can say “goodbye” well, so that we can move on in a healthy way to the next season.  I found this lament (below) online which helped me.  Perhaps it will help you, too.  You might want to grab a Kleenex before you read it.  

Today & tomorrow (and the coming days) will be times to grieve, but I hope we each can find a way to celebrate, whether through creative writing, looking at photos, sharing memories, or just buying a bottle of sparkling grape juice and thanking God for His goodness on that land the past 124 years.  

Praying for a great auction & good neighbors in the community & a fair price & mostly that the Lord’s will be done, 

J~

Lament link: https://trevorsides.com/a-liturgy-moving-away-beloved-home/

---

Father, you have made us for yourself
and our hearts are homesick
until they make their home in you.

In this home that we are now leaving,
we have experienced a foretaste
of that rest, that peace, that deep belonging,
that beloved grounded-ness which we will
one day know in full in your presence.

That is why we are right to grieve this change.
In between these walls, around this table,
underneath these trees and in this garden,
you have mercifully revealed to us
your deep and abundant goodness.

Pulling up roots hurts, Father.
Moving reminds us that we are yet pilgrims,
sojourners, way-finders in this beautiful but broken world.
Let our tears remind us of our true hope,
our forever home, that even now you are preparing for us.

Though our hearts are caught in the tension
between loss of what we love and excitement for what’s to come,
we are right to give you thanks
for all you have done here [name the address].
Thank you, Lord, for the friendships forged with our neighbors.
Thank you, Lord, for the love given and received
in this galaxy of warm places—
names and addresses of real people made in your image.
Thank you, Lord, for the meals shared. For the eggs borrowed.
For lives lived in close proximity,
in everyday inter-dependence.

Let our hearts find comfort and courage in the outrageous truth
that you, Jesus—creator, savior, King—are no stranger to moving.
In your adjective-defying love, you left your home
to make your home with us—to seek and to save
orphans like us, to settle us in the home of your presence.
We look forward to the day when the dwelling place
of God will be with man for all eternity,
where we will see you face-to-face.

You have new adventures planned for us,
new work for us to do in a new neighborhood with new neighbors.
We know that because you are with us
and because we are with each other,
our new destination
will become as much of a home as the one we’re leaving now.

We thank you for making all things new,
and because your promises are sure,
we know that you will go before us into this new
stretch of our pilgrimage, even as our hearts
long to be in our forever home, even as we look forward
to that safe lodging and holy rest that you have promised
to those who love you and seek your kingdom.

Amen.