Thirty summers ago my oldest cousin spent the summer at my parents' farm. That was not out of the ordinary.
But what was different was that he was getting married at the end of August in the Midwest.
I remember the long-distance phone conversations when my sisters and I were relegated to anywhere in the house that was at least a couple closed doors away from the kitchen phone. (Cordless phones had not made it to our world yet.)
One day I went downtown with him and we picked up their wedding invitations from a local printer's.
And I recoiled in horror as I heard of the blood test he had to have in preparation for his wedding.
I'm sure he also made at least one trip out-of-state to see his intended during that summer.
And at the end of the summer, our family traveled to Ohio, where my sisters and I handed out programs for his wedding.
Fast forward thirty summers. A nephew of that cousin is spending the summer on my parents' farm.
How many times, as I left my parents' home or the church parking lot in the evening, at a still early hour, to return to my apartment, has he said to me, with a glimmer in his eye, "Do you have a phone appointment this evening?"
He watches the mail for RSVP cards and helps sort them from my parents' mail.
He calls to let me know when FedEx or UPS has delivered a package for me, and shares in amazement when one enormous box contains only one small saucer.
He has seen me make a trip to the Midwest, to see my intended, and he eagerly awaited Jim's visit here.
Toward the end of his stay here, he will be an usher in our wedding, along with two of his cousins, the two oldest sons of my cousin who spent the summer here thirty years ago.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
1000 Gifts, Vol. 3, #35
341. perspective
342. how a brief message can be filled with lots of meaning
343. the ongoing work of sanctification
344. combining menus for a meal
345. leftovers stretching it into two meals
346. hearing of God's work in a friend's life
347. convicting sermons
348. anticipation of how God will help me apply it
349. quotes sent by friends
350. people speaking truth into my life
342. how a brief message can be filled with lots of meaning
343. the ongoing work of sanctification
344. combining menus for a meal
345. leftovers stretching it into two meals
346. hearing of God's work in a friend's life
347. convicting sermons
348. anticipation of how God will help me apply it
349. quotes sent by friends
350. people speaking truth into my life
The tension of home
Some months ago I read a blog post by a missionary in Uganda, describing the tension of home.
A missionary peer and I discussed our thoughts on the post by e-mail:
My friend added, "A good message for you as you contemplate home-making anew, don't you agree?"
Yes, it is a good message for me, for there is a part of me that breathes a huge sigh of relief at getting to settle down into a place ... one place ... until eternity perhaps. But, first, there are no guarantees of that, and secondly, I'm not entitled to make this world my home.
The frequent moves of the missionary life, and the constant comings and goings of one's missionary co-workers, along with being a card-carrying alien certainly make it easier to remember that our real home is not here. I wonder how I will do at remembering that, when so much of my time and energy will be focused on making a home here.
A missionary peer and I discussed our thoughts on the post by e-mail:
What a great message. She says it so well.
I especially like: "We are pilgrims and strangers, we ... make homes wherever we go, and in their best moments those homes are a foretaste of Heaven."
Also, describing the life of a missionary: "Ready to leave, content to stay. Always weighing how much energy to put into homemaking, and how much to reserve for the inevitable moving, be that across continents or into eternity."
My friend added, "A good message for you as you contemplate home-making anew, don't you agree?"
Yes, it is a good message for me, for there is a part of me that breathes a huge sigh of relief at getting to settle down into a place ... one place ... until eternity perhaps. But, first, there are no guarantees of that, and secondly, I'm not entitled to make this world my home.
The frequent moves of the missionary life, and the constant comings and goings of one's missionary co-workers, along with being a card-carrying alien certainly make it easier to remember that our real home is not here. I wonder how I will do at remembering that, when so much of my time and energy will be focused on making a home here.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Script ~ meeting the family
{Previous posts in this series}
Because our first two visits were in Chicago, our third was on the farm, and our fourth visit was delayed by weather, harvest, and other circumstances, my parents did not meet Jim until Christmastime.
But Jim was able to meet other family members before Christmastime.
The day before I flew to the farm for our third visit, cousin S and his family visited my parents. Though I had not seen them for ten (!) years, S was a very special part of my childhood, spending many of his boarding school vacations with us and filling the role of fun, big brother.
The whole family came and sat around the long dining room table at my parents', enjoying time with S and his family and also enjoying a great meal. As we asked about their six-week deputation trip, S spoke of the various states they had been in and continued, "... and we'll be in Illinois on Sunday..." That got my attention!
"Where in Illinois?"
"Near City A in the morning and City B in the evening."
"You'll never believe this, but I will be in Illinois this weekend, too."
A look at the map revealed that the road from City A to City B passed by the farm-!
And so, four days later, cousin S and his family stopped by Jim's parents' for a visit on their way between City A and City B.
Jim had a great first introduction to my family!
And my family had a great first introduction to Jim! As they pulled out of the driveway and headed toward their meeting in City B, they called my parents to give their approval.
Because our first two visits were in Chicago, our third was on the farm, and our fourth visit was delayed by weather, harvest, and other circumstances, my parents did not meet Jim until Christmastime.
But Jim was able to meet other family members before Christmastime.
The day before I flew to the farm for our third visit, cousin S and his family visited my parents. Though I had not seen them for ten (!) years, S was a very special part of my childhood, spending many of his boarding school vacations with us and filling the role of fun, big brother.
The whole family came and sat around the long dining room table at my parents', enjoying time with S and his family and also enjoying a great meal. As we asked about their six-week deputation trip, S spoke of the various states they had been in and continued, "... and we'll be in Illinois on Sunday..." That got my attention!
"Where in Illinois?"
"Near City A in the morning and City B in the evening."
"You'll never believe this, but I will be in Illinois this weekend, too."
A look at the map revealed that the road from City A to City B passed by the farm-!
And so, four days later, cousin S and his family stopped by Jim's parents' for a visit on their way between City A and City B.
Jim had a great first introduction to my family!
And my family had a great first introduction to Jim! As they pulled out of the driveway and headed toward their meeting in City B, they called my parents to give their approval.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Church attendance
Today is my first Sunday as a former missionary.
Of all the adjustments I will face in marriage, a hidden one is regular church attendance.
"But you were a missionary! Surely you attended church regularly," you might think.
Yes. But I attended lots of churches regularly, and "regularly" might mean once a month or once every five years or every six weeks, depending on the situation.
But now. Now, I'll be attending the same church every Sunday for years into the future.
I attended the same church all four years of college. But I was gone in the summers, and I knew I would be leaving after four years.
For the most part, I attended the same church in Japan from 2000-2004 and from 2005-2009. But, I always knew that I would be gone for a year after four years. And there was always the possibility that I would be reassigned to a church that needed more help.
What is it like to go to the same church week in and week out, year in and year out, without knowing that one's time there is drawing to a close?
Of all the adjustments I will face in marriage, a hidden one is regular church attendance.
"But you were a missionary! Surely you attended church regularly," you might think.
Yes. But I attended lots of churches regularly, and "regularly" might mean once a month or once every five years or every six weeks, depending on the situation.
But now. Now, I'll be attending the same church every Sunday for years into the future.
I attended the same church all four years of college. But I was gone in the summers, and I knew I would be leaving after four years.
For the most part, I attended the same church in Japan from 2000-2004 and from 2005-2009. But, I always knew that I would be gone for a year after four years. And there was always the possibility that I would be reassigned to a church that needed more help.
What is it like to go to the same church week in and week out, year in and year out, without knowing that one's time there is drawing to a close?
Friday, July 2, 2010
Marriage? Missions?
She had prayed daily for me for years. We had just spent an enjoyable lunchtime sharing our hearts. As I told of how my HMA was going, the inevitable question came.
I feared the other voices. And, although her reaction has been the most common (that is, one of unbridled joy!), a few of the other voices have wafted their way to my ears.
The response of a pastor of a supporting church encouraged me.
When one person asked,
When are you going back to Japan?In a split-second I debated telling her what was really going on. [From this vantage point, I can see that I was a month away from being engaged.] As I hesitatingly and almost apologetically told her about Jim, her eyes lit up, her voice interrupted mine, and she said, "J-, this is wonderful! I am delighted! I will pray for this. Why are you apologetic?"
I feared the other voices. And, although her reaction has been the most common (that is, one of unbridled joy!), a few of the other voices have wafted their way to my ears.
"How will the team in Japan make it without you?"The work is God's and He is still the Lord of the harvest.
The response of a pastor of a supporting church encouraged me.
"I can't wait to hear more about it. Our lives are real."Yes, they are! And our Lord's guidance is unpredictable and at times surprising!
When one person asked,
"How long is it going to take for his guilty conscience to kick in that he's taking a missionary from the field?"God gave me grace to say,
"God's call on my life is not to a special category of the Christian life known as 'missionary.' God's primary call on my life is to be a lifelong disciple of His, whatever the who, what, when, and where may look like."And, of course, how can I forget the motto, "Marriage trumps missions," frequently heard from my team leader.
"I believe marriage trumps missions, because God's leading and providence trump missions and everything else under His providence. If God leads you to marriage, missions as a single goer is trumped because that relationship comes first."
Thursday, July 1, 2010
HISTORICAL day
Note written on bottom of RSVP card for wedding:
One thing I know for certain, it could be either! For this will definitely be an HISTORICAL day for both of us, as evidenced by the number of our friends who have experienced shock and disbelief upon hearing that we are getting married. :)
"I'm sorry! I would love to be there for this HISTORICAL day!"Heeding friends' advice, the RSVP cards are number-coded to match the invitation list, but, due to a few mix-ups, not every name on my list ended up with a number next to it. So, this RSVP without a name on it is #177, but I have no idea which name on our list received #177. I cannot even say for sure whether it is one of Jim's guests or one of my guests.
One thing I know for certain, it could be either! For this will definitely be an HISTORICAL day for both of us, as evidenced by the number of our friends who have experienced shock and disbelief upon hearing that we are getting married. :)
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