Naming your losses

First, our gains, which are our praises:

•  Little Guy had a newborn hearing test in the hospital. Praise!!

•  We were able to follow up on it!

• We were referred to a phenomenal pediatric hearing clinic!

• He was fitted with hearing aids before he turned 1!

• Thanks to some creative solutions, he was able to receive his Early Intervention therapy from therapists from the pediatric hearing clinic!

• He is able to go to a phenomenal preschool that helps hearing impaired kiddos close the gap with their typically hearing peers!

• We have a carpool option! 

• He is making great strides!  

We could not be more thankful for his school (well, if it were a lot closer we could be!).

But there are losses, too, in this isolating journey.  These are some of our losses which I am grieving:

• long commute (his is 65 miles one way; though only 3 days/week)
• anything I schedule on a school day has to be in pencil because if my friend has a sick child, then I (and Little Miss) will be spending our day in a city 65 miles away
• all we do now is basically school on 3 days and church on Sunday (for multiple reasons: don't want to use any more gas than we already are using & it's 20-30 miles to get *anywhere*; don't want him to be buckled into his carseat anymore than he already is; and honestly his school schedule has brought out lots of big emotions) 
• not going to Wednesday nights at church (he's missing out on starting AWANA with his friends; I feel very disconnected by not attending prayer meeting and by not serving once/month in nursery)
• he was learning how to be a helper in the grocery store, even pushing a little cart (or sometimes getting the thrill of riding in a toy car attached to the front of the cart); now he doesn't go to the grocery store with me
• he was learning how to sit still & occupy himself at my hair appointments (now I schedule them on a school day)
• he was learning how to accompany me to my allergy shots (now I schedule them on a school day)
• we used to go to the library All. The. Time.  (We've basically stopped going, and when we do go, we don't have time to read the books.)
• play group still meets at our house once a week, but it's on a school day for him, so he's not playing with his friends, or learning to share his toys
• rushed evenings and rushed mornings 
• not doing all the "fun" stuff I imagined doing like library story hour, children's museum programs, etc. (We did get to do a Saturday maple tree tapping experience, which was GREAT!!)
• about 6 months of potty training regression (Aaarrgh ... thankfully we turned that corner, but it was pretty much directly related to starting school!)
• loss of his free time/ play time
• the great experience we were looking forward to him having in a small gentle preschool classroom 2.5 hours /day, twice a week at a Christian school nearby
• my day being cut up ... gone 7.30 - 8.45 and 2.30 - 3.45
• Little Miss's day being cut up (see schedule above ... nap time?! what nap time?!)

We really are thankful for his school, and I trust that when he's older, he will be, too, or at least be thankful for the benefits he receives.   He couldn't name this list of losses, but I think he feels it. 

Funerals

A year ago, Little Guy went with us to a funeral of a 90 year old woman whom he did not remember meeting.  It wasn't his first funeral, but it's the first one he remembers, and it's the first time he attended the graveside service.  It all made a big impression on him, and he has brought it up many times over the past year.  It's also been a very helpful reference point to use as we jump into further discussions that come up.  He didn't know the lady before she died, but she's a household name now!

There are large generation gaps in our family, such that his grandparents are in their 80s and 90s.  So, he may experience several funerals in his youth (as I did).  And that's not a bad thing.  The wonderful thing is that all his grandparents and great-aunts and great-uncles love Jesus.  What better legacy could they leave?!

I've heard older people talk about knowing more people dead than alive.  It's not a bad thing to start knowing dead people when you're young.  

Another mom recently told me that, her children will talk about their "great grandma that's in heaven" when they see photos of her holding them as babies.  It's good to know people in heaven. It makes it more real.

I recently read a blog post entitled, "3 Reasons Why Younger Christians Should Attend the Funeral Services of Older Christians."

Hopefully we will shepherd him and Little Miss well through this next decade or so, as the older generation graduates to glory.  Any tips?

Before & After

Snow, in our backyard, day one:

Beautiful, pristine

Snow, in our backyard, day two:

Tracks!

What caused those tracks, you ask?  A sled ... and a loving father who pulled said sled, in the absence of any hills!

Snow days

Sitting around the kitchen table,
     sipping Russian Tea made from the mix that was mostly Tang,
          staying up late (taking the risk that we could sleep in the next morning),
               periodically turning on the outside light and looking outside to see how much snow was   
                          falling,
                    listening to the radio, hoping that in the next round of school closing announcements, we
                                would hear our school district!!

And that is how I spent many childhood winter evenings, hoping for a snow day!!

This week, we got hit with snow three days in a row.  Because I'm the bus driver, and because it was a day I would have to drive Little Guy all 65 miles and wait all day (with Little Miss), and because we received more at our home than they did in the city where Little Guy's school is, I had to pretend I was a school administrator and decide whether or not to call a snow day. 

I don't want to cancel school indiscriminately, but after deciding not to go, I had one text from another parent and one email from a teacher who drives the same interstate, both confirming we made the right decision. 

After a leisurely morning of reading (and one rousing game of hide and go seek), it was "To Mommy's room!!!!"  LM camped out in the pack-n-play, and LG did different activities, while I sorted through piles and papers, etc. 

I found so many papers with blog post ideas.  So, when I have time, maybe when LM is in kindergarten, look forward to some great blog posts. :)

Our week

Last Saturday morning Little Guy jumped at a jump zone with a girl from his class at church.

Saturday evening 12 of us celebrated Grandma's and Little Miss's birthdays.  LM was miserable.  We didn't know yet that her ear infection was back. :(

Monday found us at the pediatrician's office and at the pharmacy for another round of antibiotics.

Tuesday LG started swim lessons ... and LOVES it!!  He's already sad that it's only for four weeks. After class on Thursday, he said, "Mom, why is it so short?"

Wednesday LM & I traveled to the city where LG's school is to watch their Winter Program.  Roses are red, violets are blue, the sheep says baa and the cow says moo.

Thursday LM & I spent the morning at the Honda dealership for an oil change, recall, tire rotation, and (thankfully) the removal of a metal piece from a tire!  I donated a few outlet protectors from my diaper bag to the children's corner of their waiting room.  They did not give us a discount for putting 18K miles on the van in 7 months. :-O

Friday LM took her first steps  We'll see if it becomes a habit. :)  She also started clapping this week.

Game-changer

As I sit here and eat a midnight snack (okay 7.30 pm snack) of crisp, juicy Fuji apple slices and creamy almond butter, I'm thankful for online grocery ordering with parking lot pickup!  That's how both the bag of apples and the jar of almond butter came into my possession.

95% of our groceries come via online ordering now.  (Biggest game-changer in terms of making life survivable for me!) 

And sometimes more than groceries come in our grocery order!

When it was time to send cupcakes to school for Little Guy's birthday, I ordered them sight unseen in my weekly grocery order, picked them up one morning, and sent them to school the next morning via my friend who drives him.

Last week I ordered a box of Dr. Seuss Valentine's cards (the little ones for classroom Valentine exchange).

The first time I purchased frozen waffles (in my life) was online.  Sure, there are 100 choices, but I chose one, we liked it, and I keep ordering it.

A friend served me Meyer Lemon Blood Orange Pepper Jelly recently, and it was so delicious and reminded me of some pepper jelly we had received in a gourmet gift basket once.  So, the following week's grocery order included "Meyer Lemon Blood Orange Pepper Jelly!" 

The necessary, the frivolous, the celebratory, and the convenience foods ... all found in an online grocery order for our home!

1000 Gifts, Vol. 5, #64

631.  a friend loaning us several pairs of 2-piece pajamas in our attempt to move away from zip-up pajamas and facilitate more independence (It's working!)

632.  driving to carpool drop-off one morning and seeing the beautiful pink glow on the horizon and white snow in the foreground

633.  a few moments later, watching the large orange orb peek above the horizon and keep rising

634.  the excitement of a 4-year-old declaring that God put the sun in the sky!!

635.  the Starbucks at Target giving me my free birthday drink even though the offer had expired (and wow!! Starbucks has cupholders to attach to your Target cart?! I feel like I just crawled out from under a rock.)

636.  why, yes, I did include a box of children's Valentine cards (the type you use for classroom exchange) in my online grocery order from Walmart!

637.  time to browse in Barnes & Noble bookstore

638.  finding two appropriate books there for the children to purchase with gift cards they received at Christmas, and a wall calendar for us 50% off, and two birthday gifts at great discount, too

639.  "happening" upon gas 31 cents per gallon cheaper than most other gas stations in town (including the one across the street)

640.  good discussion & fellowship with our small group Bible study