His and Her

So before we were married, and when we were debating keeping my maiden name for my middle name or not, a friend said, "Think about how it will look on the monograms on towels."

We do not have anything that is monogrammed, unless you want to count the post-it notes I picked up in Michael's dollar bins, and the beautiful note cards a friend gave me for a shower gift.

But we do have his and hers. Oh, they may not say so with a "His" or "Hers" monogram. But we know.

We have "His" flatware and "Her" flatware, "His" drinking glass set and "Her" drinking glass set, "His" tablecloths and "Her" place mats.

"His" mugs got put in the Salvation Army box, "Her" towels made it to the rag box. "His" shower curtain was thrown away, "Her" knives never even stood a chance of making it out of the packing material.

It will take time before "His" address book and "Her" address book are merged, before "His" CD collection and "Her" CD collection become intermingled in the CD storage rack, and before we figure out which of "His" frying pans are being used regularly and which of "Her" frying pans (however did we accumulate five frying pans???) should go to the giveaway pile.

And then we have the non-tangibles. Yes, plenty of those. The seemingly inconsequential "His" and "Her," denoting which flatware he prefers to use, and which glassware she prefers to drink from, but also the bigger non-tangibles.

It is not my place to tell in the public square what exactly those are.

But I recall all those months of wedding planning, and the nightly calls which seemed to be consumed with discussions of decisions regarding the minute details.

I missed our pre-engagement conversations when we just talked and enjoyed talking, but I consoled myself by saying, "We are practicing negotiating skills, and we will need those everyday of our marriage."

Indeed we do.

Now, just how should I set the table for lunch???

Tablecloth or placemats?

Simple glasses or ones with a design?

Sleek silverware or the one with a pattern?