In the old days, apparently a couple who wanted to adopt just
went to an orphanage and either was given a child or put on a list, and
if they were number five on the list, that meant they were fifth in
line.
Times have changed.
As I understand it, in international adoption, there comes a point at which the adopting parents do receive a number or a date or something, which means that they are officially "in line," and they slowly work (and wait) their way to the beginning of the line/list.
In private adoptions in the U.S. these days, there is no list. And, by extension, there is no guarantee. There does not even seem to be a good answer to the question, "What's the average wait?"
Private adoptions are birth parent-driven, which means that the birth parents look at profiles of waiting parents and select the couple they want to raise their child.
Translated, this means that a couple could be home-study approved and in the waiting "pool of profiles" (not a numbered waiting list) for a year or two or more, before being selected, if they are ever selected.
Or a couple could be home-study approved and their profile added to the pool, and then be selected on the very next day.
A couple might be tempted to create a winning profile (in hopes of having their profile stand out), but there is no winning profile, other than the one that accurately reflects who the couple is.
I have heard of birth parents who selected a couple based on a photo of a dog in their profile, because the birth mom's best friend growing up had a dog just like that! Or a photo of the couple on vacation reminded her of a special vacation she had with her dad. There's no formula to create a profile that guarantees one will be chosen.
It seems so very random ... if one did not place one's hope completely in the sovereign Lord of the universe who "determines the number of the stars; [and] gives to all of them their names," and who determines the allotted periods of life for all mankind and the boundaries of our dwelling place.
2 comments:
Amen, amen! As I was rocking Asher the other nigh, I was thinking, surely people who work with adoption placements MUST believe in the sovereignty of God. I know for me, in just the last 2 months my faith in his sovereignty has been strengthened. Even with all my millions of unanswered questions, my heart finds more and more rest in He who does all things well.
S-B, He DOES do all things well. Just last week, as I pondered unplanned surgery, He moved my heart from distress to resting in that TRUTH. And it's true in all areas of our lives. A great reminder of how dependent we are on Him for everything, including our every breath.
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